My Kind Of Dicktionary

I've just found this: "Seedy Songs and Rotten Rhymes - the poetry of the playground." Genius. Absolute genius. Who can forget great playgrounds songs such as:

Yellow matter custard,
Snot and bogey pie
All mixed together with a dead dog's eye
Snotty green jam - spread it on thick
Wash it all down with a cup of cold sick

and the immortal:

Shit bugger arsehole piss cock fart
Someone stole my horse and cart
Couldn't give a bugger
Gonna get another
Shit bugger arsehole piss cock fart.

If only Time Life could release a recorded boxed set of CDs...

One-Legged Fury

Heather "Batshit Crazy" Mills' ex-fiance has claimed living with Heather was "terrifying" and worse than the most savage thunderstorm. And he should know. He's just finished filming a documentary called Nature's Fury. Perhaps Sir Paul got off lightly with paying out £24.3 million to the self-deluded harpy. At least he escaped with his life.
Still, both are preferable to the Russian woman who blew off her boyfriend's penis with fireworks...

So Long Sol. Don't Come Back.

So former Telstra boss, Sol Trujillo is leaving Australia calling the country, "racist, backward and like stepping back in time". Now, granted Australia does have its problems with racism and our history with our indigenous people is quite shameful, but should someone point out:
- The number of indigenous Americans were reduced from 12 million in 1500 to barely 237,000 in 1900
- Americans had slaves. And half the country fought a war to keep them
- Segregation
- The Ku Klux Klan
- Rodney King
- There have been plans suggested to build a giant wall along the US/Mexican border

Perhaps Sol has been out of the US too long to realise what 'racist country' really means. Perhaps you can hand deliver your apology when you get another look at your own back yard mate. But for now, go home Yankee.

Mentioned in the Herald

I got a brief mention on page 20 of today's Sydney Morning Herald for one of my t-shirts taking the mickey out of our Nic:T-shirt is available here.